Mundane Musings

"Man proposes, god disposes" -- Ask a man who just fathered a child and he'd say the vice-versa is also true Happy father's day. (I meant to post this on June 15th, but accidentally clicked on the 'PUBLISH POST' button -- such accidents can happen, but beware of getting knocked up like the guy above!)

While I was standing in queue at Dunkin Donuts , I overheard this conversation between a husband and wife... Wife : I believe the new southern style chicken sandwich introduced by McD recently, is doing very well all over the US and Europe. Did you know? Husband : Oh, really? I didn't know that. Wife : Yeah. Wanna give it a shot? Husband : Unfortunately, am not a non-vegetarian anymore. Wife : Good for the chickens. Hope you also become a 'non- ogle -arian' -- if that's a word -- sometime soon. That'll be good for the chicks. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- In a recent google chat (edited version) with one of my childhood pals.... Me : hiya dude! (a long pause..) Pal : hey! Me : howz it goin? (a long pause..) Pal : good Me : howz married life ;-) ? (a long...

A bunch of desi chaps, who travelled to the US for the first time on a business visit, stayed in a hotel in New York. One beautiful morning, one of the chaps called 911 to report an emergency. The cops rushed to the spot in no time, only to find the hotel in an unexpected state of tranquility. None of the hotel staff were aware of any emergency situation in their hotel. One of the staff members led the officers to the desi gang's humble abode. After having a brief interrogation with the distressed chap who had called them, the officers left. On their way back, one of the officers stopped by the front desk, leaned forward and gently told the receptionist in a hushed voice, "It appears that we cannot fix their problem. We believe their bathroom shower stopped working. Is there someway you can help?"

It was more than a ritual in my friend's ex-company to offer on-the-spot gratuities (really hefty ones) to their employees who made outstanding contributions to their respective projects. One such competitive employee, in spite of having exhibited his profound skills, was neither apprised in a just manner nor given the due credits. By due credits, I mean the impromptu gratuities I was talking about in the first line -- I believe, these were termed "Bravo awards". The frustrated employee, who was no longer able to endure the injustice thrown upon him, once poured out his indignant feelings to his immediate supervisor, stating that the supervisor better honour him with at least a "Bravo". The supervisor, who was a new hire himself, did not know what "Bravo" meant; neither the true meaning of the word nor the company's lingo. Obviously, the employee meant the latter. Ignorant of these facts, the rookie searched for the "synonym" of the wo...

It is beyond my doubt that whoever wrote the following 'gems', must've been helplessly inebriated, or had an extremely important errand to run, or lost control over one's bladder, or skipped at least one square meal before he/she actually wrote it. I mostly think it must've been one of those chappies working at the restaurant, for I believe chappies have an innate tendency to shut their minds off and drop their jaws open instead, when they encounter delicious, lip-smacking and mouth-watering food -- Take me, for instance -- Show me a plateful of echt Bhel-Poori and a woman-full of zeal and oomph -- you can never buy me for the latter! Anyway, coming back, thanks to Sarvajnya for capturing and sharing these precious writings, directly from the buffet table of a desi restaurant in Amreeka , whose name I don't wish to disclose! I don't know if the cuisine in this restaurant hydrated the eaters' tongues, but I can tell for sure that the following caption...

Sometime in the recent past, I had been to BigY (a grocery store, near my home) to buy chicken drumsticks. Am habituated to checking expiry dates on ANY product I buy -- yeah, at times, I've even flipped a brand new razor pack a dozen times, frantically looking for the expiry date. Having said that, I must also say that all manufacturers across the globe, are habituated to either printing the expiry date at a place that is highly inconspicuous or leaving the column blank! Anyway, speaking of chicken drumsticks, what could expiry date on an already dead chicken mean? Is the chicken still alive and is actually slated to die on the date mentioned in the pack? I don't think so, since I see the formless chicken in front of my own eyes! Then, what could it mean? Is the chicken going to get re-incarnated anytime between now and the predicted expiry date, and eventually die again? Hmm..Whatever, the crude reality was that I knew I was going to eat a dead body that was tested and marke...

One of my friends, who's excessively obsessed with water therapy , drinks gallons of water everyday. In order to quench his thirst (or should I say, douse the fire!), he would often stop by the vending machine inside his office pantry to churn out a 16oz coke after tossing a dollar in. After he finishes the coke, he'd top it up with water, and use it for his therapy. Though his intention was to re-use the empty coke bottle everyday, he couldn't do so because it used to simply vanish from his desk! This made him go nuts and buy a new bottle everytime. He later figured out that it was the Mexican domestic helpers who cleaned his office regularly in the evenings, that discarded the empty bottles. The simplest solution would've been to secure the bottle inside a drawer -- for some reason (unknown to me, till date), he never did that. After several such keep-and-throw games, he once came up with a "brilliant" idea and wrote this text(in CAPS) on an A4 sheet: "...