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Food for thought

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It is beyond my doubt that whoever wrote the following 'gems', must've been helplessly inebriated, or had an extremely important errand to run, or lost control over one's bladder, or skipped at least one square meal before he/she actually wrote it. I mostly think it must've been one of those chappies working at the restaurant, for I believe chappies have an innate tendency to shut their minds off and drop their jaws open instead, when they encounter delicious, lip-smacking and mouth-watering food -- Take me, for instance -- Show me a plateful of echt Bhel-Poori and a woman-full of zeal and oomph -- you can never buy me for the latter! Anyway, coming back, thanks to Sarvajnya for capturing and sharing these precious writings, directly from the buffet table of a desi restaurant in Amreeka , whose name I don't wish to disclose! I don't know if the cuisine in this restaurant hydrated the eaters' tongues, but I can tell for sure that the following caption...
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White snow and two dwarfs

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It snowed 'monkeys and donkeys' in the east coast, yesterday. Don't get me wrong, they weren't scattered all around. Simply meant to use a different phrase, just for the heck of it. 'cats and dogs' are reserved only for rains, aren't they? Coming back to 'monkeys and donkeys', it had been snowing the whole of yesterday and Connecticut recorded an average of 10 - 12 inches. M y wife and I, kept gazing outside the whole day hoping for the storm to abate, so that we could have a romantic walk before the snow turns into ice. Atlast, it stopped around ten in the night. This was the moment we were waiting for. Both of us, fully armoured with thick winter clothing, finally stepped out of the house and walked towards the parking lot. There were heaps of snow all over the place and it took us a while to discover our black beauty, the Audi A4 , which was hidden under one of the mounds. As we started shovelling to unearth our car, we indulged in a deep convers...
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I yum resign

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What you're about to read is an actual resignation note (unedited version) that my manager-friend received from one of his team members. "Hello, I will not cum in office from today onwords.I fell down in the road last friday while returning from the office near madivala flyover. I right leg and right shoulder got little damage. As per the doctor advise I have to take 30 to 45 days rest to recovar campletly. Since I going to Australia far MBA in feb last weak I Can't join the job again after my recovary far shart period. So I decided to dis-continue my work from today onwords. I really sorry far the inconvenience caused to resigning my job. Tanks for the great suport and copration from u r compayny. I yum resign." Atleast, 'I will not cum in office' was pardonable to a certain extent, since it gave my friend a hearty laugh. But, 'I yum resign' was the last straw to break the camel's back. After reading that last sentence, my friend felt like...
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