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Showing posts from 2005

Middle class mentality

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Umbrella man : Umbrellas for sale, Rs.20 per umbrella ! Mr.Middle class : Hi, can you give it for Rs.15 ? Umbrella man somehow wants to make a deal, as this will be his first sale for the day Umbrella man : Sure Sir, please have it. Mr.Middle class reads the umbrella man's mind and makes up his, to bargain further as that guy seemed flexible! Mr.Middle class : Can you give it for Rs.10 ? Umbrella man : Ah, well ...ok sir, you can have it. Mr.Middle class : well, I somehow feel Rs.10 is too much for this...ok, am finally asking this for Rs.5...if you can give, i'll buy it Umbrella man : (after a pause)...Sir, you are my first customer since morning..you can take it for free.. Mr.Middle class : Wowwowow !! that's fabulous ! errr...well then...ah...can u give me two ? Umbrella man : !!!!!!!!! (faints)

Divorce because of 'E' ?

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A very old forward...still worth a second reading... Husband goes out of town. Sends a telegram to wife, saying that he misses her. wife doesn't reply. Husband returns back home after a week. His wife welcomes him with a divorce notice. What message did he send ? "I wish you were her" What he actually meant :( - "I wish you were here"

Spacing does matter

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Recently I was flipping through the pages of some of the old issues of Reader's digest. I came across this cool joke - I believe there was once an article in New York Times which was to be titled - "Pen is mightier than sword ?" I guess the proof reader went to bed early. The entire nation was filled with deep shock the following day. This was how the title got printed - "Penis mightier than sword ?"

Weird but true

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Long ago, in the 'ex-teenth' century B.C., there was once a heavy downpour in England - so much intense, that almost half of England had submerged.... After the rain abated, people started moving out, resuming their daily routine...guess what they bumped into, every step they took ? Cats and dogs lying dead all over the streets !! several of them had been killed in the disastrous rain !! .....thus the phrase, "It rained cats and dogs" (and not water :)) !!!

Ni Cotine Code

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Recently, I was asked to draft a mail, inviting all my team members for a birthday bash at the workplace...Incidentally, it so happened that it was scheduled on the 'anti-tobacco' day...and I had no choice, other than writing this....but believe me, it was a huge hit !! Hi All, PLEASE quit smoking now ! The next time you MAKE an attempt to smoke, buy YOURSELF nicotine replacements - Several Indian makes are AVAILABLE in the market, at af FOR dable prices these days. The world sees THE BIRTH of a new tobacco consumer every DAY . It all starts in the name of fun and CELEBRATIONS initially. An addict, seldom realises that the death stick which is TO BE HELD between the lips, is going to baseball his/her life AT every run. We are soon to enter into THE THIRD decade of the 'Anti-tobacco' campaign, since it's inception, on May 31st 1988. Many debates have been on FLOOR IN several parliments across the globe regarding the ban on tobacco. Probably some kind of a S...

Ladies forbidden !

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Did you ever know that the word GOLF, is actually an abbreviation of four words ? If you did not, well here it is - ~Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden~ Can't say for sure if a gentle-man coined this, but there are chances that it could be a married-man :) So gentlemen, next time you see a woman playing GOLF, don't ever utter a word about my blog...who knows, she might just FLOG (anagram intended) you with the stick !!!

Stason mastar....

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"Sometimes, when you want to get the right answers, be bold enough to ask the wrong questions" - G U R U :) An Englishman in an Indian railway station is frantically trying to find the station master. He finally asks one guy, whom he thought would understand English - inglis babu : Excuse me, who is the station master ? desi babu : I is the stason mastar ! inglis babu : Who are the station master (little frustrated) ? desi babu : I are the stason mastar ! inglish babu : (fuming now and with his never say die attitude), who AAAMMM the station master ?...grrrr.... desi babu : (with a grin...heeee...) I yum the stason mastar ! inglis babu : Thank god ! finally ....phew...

Don't jump to conclusions...

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Recently, I recieved this email from one of my friends ... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hi, I became a proud father on DD-MM-YY with the arrival of my daughter (yet to be named) . Both are doing fine in my home town. warm regards, XYZ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ After reading this note, I was laughing aloud for 5 minutes imagining something, unintentionally inviting glances from people around me.... "Hold on boss, stop grinning and don't jump to conclusions yet ! Your daughter has just now arrived and is 'yet to be even named' !! Give her a few years to grow up and see if your life is getting screwed up - you can decide if you are a 'proud father' then :)"

Miscommunication....

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a : Do you 'know' English ? b: Yes, I 'no' English a: Ok, good...let's start our discussion then... In multi-national companies, 80% of knowledge transition and onsite-offshore co-ordination happens this way..!! .......and the remaining 20%, this way ..... A conversation between two guys who are deaf.... a: Hi, are you going to the market ? b: No no, I am going to the market a: oh ok, I thought you are going to the market