Mundane Musings

Driving at a pulse-pounding speed of 120mph, not caring an atom about the disastrous traffic, or the driving rules, or other highway regulations could be the trendiest of things for a budding teen. But how about a middle-aged woman? Why would she want to get herself killed? What in the name of god might have gone wrong with this lady who was zipping past, faster than the fastest of the falcons ? These were just a few of the many questions that were lingering in the minds of the dutiful cops who were right behind the reckless driver, chasing her. After thirty trecherous minutes, though the lady did not voluntarily pull over, the cops somehow succeeded in cornering her. While three of the officers surrounded the car and took positions, one of them cautiously approached the driver's seat, only to find a seemingly harmless woman with a ghastly look on her face. The terrified lady, who kept mum when she was fired with a dozen questions, did not speak up until the officer asked her, ...

A bunch of desi chaps, who travelled to the US for the first time on a business visit, stayed in a hotel in New York. One beautiful morning, one of the chaps called 911 to report an emergency. The cops rushed to the spot in no time, only to find the hotel in an unexpected state of tranquility. None of the hotel staff were aware of any emergency situation in their hotel. One of the staff members led the officers to the desi gang's humble abode. After having a brief interrogation with the distressed chap who had called them, the officers left. On their way back, one of the officers stopped by the front desk, leaned forward and gently told the receptionist in a hushed voice, "It appears that we cannot fix their problem. We believe their bathroom shower stopped working. Is there someway you can help?"

It snowed 'monkeys and donkeys' in the east coast, yesterday. Don't get me wrong, they weren't scattered all around. Simply meant to use a different phrase, just for the heck of it. 'cats and dogs' are reserved only for rains, aren't they? Coming back to 'monkeys and donkeys', it had been snowing the whole of yesterday and Connecticut recorded an average of 10 - 12 inches. M y wife and I, kept gazing outside the whole day hoping for the storm to abate, so that we could have a romantic walk before the snow turns into ice. Atlast, it stopped around ten in the night. This was the moment we were waiting for. Both of us, fully armoured with thick winter clothing, finally stepped out of the house and walked towards the parking lot. There were heaps of snow all over the place and it took us a while to discover our black beauty, the Audi A4 , which was hidden under one of the mounds. As we started shovelling to unearth our car, we indulged in a deep convers...

My dear blood mother, How could you do this to me ? They say, "Charity begins at home". How cruelly true. Your neighbour's foster child, Handkerchief P.S. Ammani's Quick Tale 146

D o you remember the days when you used to pay regular visits to 'Cheytaah's tea stall' near the Santhome Church ? Am sure you do. How could you forget the shop where you started smoking. It used to be your most preferred hang out. Do you also remember the times when 'Cheytaah' used to go out for hours, leaving the shop under your custody ? And you would take care of his business until he returned ? Am sure you do. How 'Cheytaah' used to reward you with commissions for your commitment and dedication in selling tobacco and 'Guthka' during his absence! And how sometimes, he used to treat you with free cigarettes and tea ! Wow ! How wonderful were those days. Do you also remember one such memorable day when you were puffing to glory and there appeared a familiar face from the cloud of smoke that you created just then, staring straight into your eyes and you instantly pissed in your pant ? Am sure you do. By the way, which brand did your dad ask for ?

" L ook Hareesh, I am your manager. And I pretty well know that you are the only impotent person in this team. Sensing this, I know how people have exploited you. Sometimes you were also humiliated I suppose. Don't worry Hareesh, you are not alone. Am impotent too. I too felt the same way when I was not given due recognitions, though I was impotent . So I perfectly understand how you are feeling at the moment. You should know how to tackle such difficult and embarrassing situations. I cannot keep telling everone in the team that you are impotent . Atleast not now. Neither can you say. Especially when you have ladies around. They will feel bad. They are sensitive, even to small issues. You are already smart, intelligent and rich. Above all, everyone knows that you are my favourite. Keeping all this in mind, if I now tell them that you are impotent , others will feel dejected. As an impotent manager in this organisation, it is my duty to respect my team's feelings. I don...

I t had been fourteen years since she visited this place. An air of nostalgia swept past her as she ambled across the streets where she spent her childhood - The man who sold gas baloons near the lamp post opposite to her maths tution, the lady who sold yellow flowers on her way to school, the begger woman who would not accept anything else other than food, overflowing dustbins, uneven speed breakers at awkward places in the road that had punctured her bicycle wheels a hundred times, the neem tree outside her school, the same dull and brownish paint on the school building and a lot many things. Nothing had changed. she was astonished. And happy too. These were the places she loved and grew up. She recognised everyone and everything. Yet nobody knew her. The very scent of these places used to make her feel ecstatic. The sweet memories of her past brought a smile on her face. But that was short-lived. she was on her way to attend a funeral. Of her aunt, whom she had not met in ten years....

I t was nine-forty in the morning. He was already late to office by ten minutes. Rushing through his cabin, he threw his bag next to the computer, took his seat, wore his glasses, closed his eyes for a silent prayer and then pressed the power button to boot his machine. Instantly, he pulled his chair back and rose from his seat. He was heading towards the pantry. There was already a long queue near the vending machine. It was getting late, but he knew he couldn't help. Nine-forty five . His turn came. Unfortunatly, the vending machine ran out of milk. They had to call someone to do the needful. Another five minutes. Nine-fifty . He finally managed to get a cupful of coffee. With that, he went to the corner near a window and started sipping the liquid ambrosia, looking at the traffic outside. After sometime, Phrrrt-phrrrt, pssst-pssst. Yeah, he was just sucking the air now. The coffee got over five minutes ago. He looked at his watch. Ten 'o clock . It had been twenty minutes s...

Conversation between a husband and wife, both software engineers, working together in their kitchen at home...My figment of imagination ! Wife: Please cut the vegetables while I make other preparations. That way we will work for 45 man-woman minutes, per task. Husband: sure honey ! After 10 minutes, the husband was caught red-handed watching 'fear factor' on AXN. Little did he realise that the episode at home would be more gripping than the actual serial he was watching. Had he read or atleast learnt from marrried men about the 'w-syndrome', he might have avoided the purchase of a new set-top box, for which he spent 5K! 'Fear factor' would be aired live and free (24/7), even to the neighbours ! Wife: What the hell are you doing honey ? Husband: Err..hehe..nothing..am on a 15 minute vacation now. Wife: I still have 30 minutes left to complete my task..have you cut the vegetables yet? Husband: Oh yeah..that's why am on a short vacation..once am back, I...

Umbrella man : Umbrellas for sale, Rs.20 per umbrella ! Mr.Middle class : Hi, can you give it for Rs.15 ? Umbrella man somehow wants to make a deal, as this will be his first sale for the day Umbrella man : Sure Sir, please have it. Mr.Middle class reads the umbrella man's mind and makes up his, to bargain further as that guy seemed flexible! Mr.Middle class : Can you give it for Rs.10 ? Umbrella man : Ah, well ...ok sir, you can have it. Mr.Middle class : well, I somehow feel Rs.10 is too much for this...ok, am finally asking this for Rs.5...if you can give, i'll buy it Umbrella man : (after a pause)...Sir, you are my first customer since morning..you can take it for free.. Mr.Middle class : Wowwowow !! that's fabulous ! errr...well then...ah...can u give me two ? Umbrella man : !!!!!!!!! (faints)

a : Do you 'know' English ? b: Yes, I 'no' English a: Ok, good...let's start our discussion then... In multi-national companies, 80% of knowledge transition and onsite-offshore co-ordination happens this way..!! .......and the remaining 20%, this way ..... A conversation between two guys who are deaf.... a: Hi, are you going to the market ? b: No no, I am going to the market a: oh ok, I thought you are going to the market