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I yum resign

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What you're about to read is an actual resignation note (unedited version) that my manager-friend received from one of his team members. "Hello, I will not cum in office from today onwords.I fell down in the road last friday while returning from the office near madivala flyover. I right leg and right shoulder got little damage. As per the doctor advise I have to take 30 to 45 days rest to recovar campletly. Since I going to Australia far MBA in feb last weak I Can't join the job again after my recovary far shart period. So I decided to dis-continue my work from today onwords. I really sorry far the inconvenience caused to resigning my job. Tanks for the great suport and copration from u r compayny. I yum resign." Atleast, 'I will not cum in office' was pardonable to a certain extent, since it gave my friend a hearty laugh. But, 'I yum resign' was the last straw to break the camel's back. After reading that last sentence, my friend felt like
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Food for thought

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It is beyond my doubt that whoever wrote the following 'gems', must've been helplessly inebriated, or had an extremely important errand to run, or lost control over one's bladder, or skipped at least one square meal before he/she actually wrote it. I mostly think it must've been one of those chappies working at the restaurant, for I believe chappies have an innate tendency to shut their minds off and drop their jaws open instead, when they encounter delicious, lip-smacking and mouth-watering food -- Take me, for instance -- Show me a plateful of echt Bhel-Poori and a woman-full of zeal and oomph -- you can never buy me for the latter! Anyway, coming back, thanks to Sarvajnya for capturing and sharing these precious writings, directly from the buffet table of a desi restaurant in Amreeka , whose name I don't wish to disclose! I don't know if the cuisine in this restaurant hydrated the eaters' tongues, but I can tell for sure that the following caption
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Software inside, footwear outside

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Sometime in the early nineties, when I was in school, when the eight-letter word C-O-M-P-U-T-E-R was considered nothing less than a machine with divine intelligence (and they called it AI!), capable of performing tasks ranging from processing of complicated accounts in a grocery store to launching of a rocket in NASA, I remember this funny poster (printed from an incredibly slow and lowest quality dot-matrix printer) stuck outside my computer lab in school that said, "Software inside, footwear outside"; as if, the computer lab were a place of worship and the computers themselves, the avtaars of gods! Not to forget the lab in-charge staff and computer sirs/ma'ams, who were considered messengers of these gods. All this hype, for a couple of old and rickety 386 machines with MS-DOS (one of them even had Windows 95!) installed in them! Whenever we passed the computer lab, we'd see the staffs sitting in front of the computer, with their legs crossed and fingers on their c
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