Sunday, December 23, 2007
What you're about to read is an actual resignation note (unedited version) that my manager-friend received from one of his team members.
I will not cum in office from today onwords.I fell down in the road last friday while returning from the office near madivala flyover. I right leg and right shoulder got little damage. As per the doctor advise I have to take 30 to 45 days rest to recovar campletly. Since I going to Australia far MBA in feb last weak I Can't join the job again after my recovary far shart period. So I decided to dis-continue my work from today onwords. I really sorry far the inconvenience caused to resigning my job. Tanks for the great suport and copration from u r compayny.
I yum resign."
Atleast, 'I will not cum in office' was pardonable to a certain extent, since it gave my friend a hearty laugh. But, 'I yum resign' was the last straw to break the camel's back. After reading that last sentence, my friend felt like resigning his job too. I believe, this person's technical abilities were equally challenging. I really wonder how such people get recruited by multi-national companies. For your information, the guy who wrote this letter was selected after five rigorous rounds of interviews. I think the HR guys who interviewed him must've had five rounds of 'old monk' or 'Bacardi'.
We come across many such people in our day to day lives, don't we ? Shouldn't you be well equiped to face this cult ? Do not panic. I shall help you with the same -- after years of observation and learning, I've come up with a comprehensive list of the oft used vocabulary of these cults, a few of which are mentioned below.
Build your vocabulary in 5 mins !
Bitch - Which
Bhaat - What
Bark - Work
Far - For
Onwords - Onwards
Neen - Keen
Impotent - Important
Cum - Come
Shit - Sit
Shee - See
Workalcoholic - Workaholic
Sawn - Seen
Ass up -ASAP (As Soon As Possible)
Putted - Past tense of 'put' (courtesy: Aravind G): Thanks Aravind :) !
"Yei Martin, listenu gear"
"Aave you open and sawn the file aa ?"
"Maydam, I will cum..can you show me that ass up ?"
"If you getting fever, take kerosene"
"I always work with enjoy in aapees even if late night, becaas I am workalcoholic"
"You can shit wherever you want saar...so many chayrs free"
"Your wife is barking ?"
"maam, you aave to prepare a document -- you know bitch ???? "
"Please hulp yourself with tea and snakes pa"
......and the list goes on....Do you have anything to add? Pleeej abuse the comment box below. Tanks.
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