Sunday, December 23, 2007

I yum resign



What you're about to read is an actual resignation note (unedited version) that my manager-friend received from one of his team members.

"Hello,

I will not cum in office from today onwords.I fell down in the road last friday while returning from the office near madivala flyover. I right leg and right shoulder got little damage.
As per the doctor advise I have to take 30 to 45 days rest to recovar campletly. Since I going to Australia far MBA in feb last weak I Can't join the job again after my recovary far shart period. So I decided to dis-continue my work from today onwords. I really sorry far the inconvenience caused to resigning my job. Tanks for the great suport and copration from u r compayny.

I yum resign."

Atleast, 'I will not cum in office' was pardonable to a certain extent, since it gave my friend a hearty laugh. But, 'I yum resign' was the last straw to break the camel's back. After reading that last sentence, my friend felt like resigning his job too. I believe, this person's technical abilities were equally challenging. I really wonder how such people get recruited by multi-national companies. For your information, the guy who wrote this letter was selected after five rigorous rounds of interviews. I think the HR guys who interviewed him must've had five rounds of 'old monk' or 'Bacardi'.

We come across many such people in our day to day lives, don't we ? Shouldn't you be well equiped to face this cult ? Do not panic. I shall help you with the same -- after years of observation and learning, I've come up with a comprehensive list of the oft used vocabulary of these cults, a few of which are mentioned below.

Build your vocabulary in 5 mins !

Words


Bitch - Which
Bhaat - What
Bark - Work
Far - For
Onwords - Onwards
Neen - Keen
Impotent - Important
Cum - Come
Shit - Sit
Shee - See
Workalcoholic - Workaholic
Sawn - Seen
Kerosene -Crocin
Yum -Am
Copration -Co-operation
Weak -Week
Hear/Gear -Here
Bad -Bed
Anygow -Anyhow
Somegow -Somehow
Snakes -Snacks
Aapees-Office
Ass up -ASAP (As Soon As Possible)
Putted - Past tense of 'put' (courtesy: Aravind G): Thanks Aravind :) !

Usage

"Yei Martin, listenu gear"

"Aave you open and sawn the file aa ?"

"Maydam, I will cum..can you show me that ass up ?"

"If you getting fever, take kerosene"

"I always work with enjoy in aapees even if late night, becaas I am workalcoholic"

"You can shit wherever you want saar...so many chayrs free"

"Your wife is barking ?"

"maam, you aave to prepare a document -- you know bitch ???? "

"Please hulp yourself with tea and snakes pa"

......and the list goes on....Do you have anything to add? Pleeej abuse the comment box below. Tanks.


Liked it ? Would you be interested in reading a short story ? Please click here

24 comments:

Jeevan said...

Merry Christmas :)

G U R U said...

@Jeevan: Thanks buddy, Merry
Christmas and a happy New
Year to you !

Mad Mad said...

The "Tea and smakes" brought back some funny memories. a "Pa" after that would have been a clincher!

Merry Christmas and a very happy new year to you and Rev.

G U R U said...

@Mad Mad: Hahaha!! Dude, welcome back! Glad you knew who I was talking about ;-) But yeah, "Pa" would've made that sentence look wholesome :-D

Thanks for your wishes..wishing you and your family a spectacular new year! And, do keep clicking, buddy !

Karthik said...

"dont open the door the climate will come inside "

hows this ..my friends proj manager has told this it seems ...eppidi????:)

G U R U said...

@Karthik: I guess this joke has been passed across generations :)..some of the other gems are, "stand in a straight circle", "mutton crossing in the road, go slow", "I have two daughters, both are girls"...and many more :-D

harry said...

hey guru,
u based out of CT??

G U R U said...

@Harry: Welcome to Mundane Musings... and yes, I live in Naugatuck, CT

Anil P said...

Haha, like they say 'Eeenglish is a phunny langwage' :)

G U R U said...

@Anil P: Welcome to Mundane Musings !

That's the bottom line and we make it much worse ! By 'we', I just don't mean our junta alone, but all the other non-english speaking people across the world who have an accent..Yes, including the Brits :-D

Thanks Anil, for wandering by ! Keep clicking !

Anonymous said...

Hey Guru...Did it occur to you that since the guy was anyway resigning ..the resignation note may have been his ultimate gag...
I yam thinking since he was being resigning is deciding to play lack a small jock...as gudbai gifut...note to remamaber him bye...

G U R U said...

@anonymous: Don't come to conclusions yet, his ultimate gag would depend on the number of "compaynys" he's going to switch :) ..Infact, I was wondering how his leave letters and love letters would look like :-D

Thanks for visiting !

flaashgordon said...

Hi , That was a hilarious read !!
And the vocabulary list was real amazing :-)..Surprising thing is does even such guys get thru for MBA in Australia..;-))

Here is an old post of mine with more examples of our Bangalore English and some other varieties too :-))
http://flaashgordon.blogspot.com/2005/01/you-want-your-backside-square-or.html

cheers
flaashgordon

Kiran said...

you are offending Bengalis I say - the first three on your list were patented by Bengalis :P

Bhat sarr, you are bery bery ignorant of our bengali culture. Ok, ok...I have lots of bork to do! :D and it goes on!

G U R U said...

@flaashgordon: Welcome to Mundane Musings !

Strange, isn't it:-D ? Now, Does that make you question the quality of MBA professionals graduating out of Australian universities :) Of course, there are exceptions everywhere !

Thanks for stopping by ! hoping to see you soon again !

G U R U said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
G U R U said...

@Kiran: Welcome to Mundane Musings!

plis, I yum naat ophending any religion/cast/culture in particular...this post is purely intended to tickle your phunny bone..that's it !! Otherwise, my mantras are 'Aapasi Bhaichaar', 'Mera Bharath mahan' and 'Jai Hind' -- okay :-D ??!!

Thanks for hopping in and hey, I should say, you sure do have a bery bery ghood sense aap humeour :-D

Keep clicking !!!

Mai said...

You left out the one I seem to hear every day: 'park,' as in wat da park dya dink ya doin

Sorry, I'm not too talented at writing this phonetic stuff.

Rav said...

One Oriya Prof used to say: "the bhalu of the bhediable was bhery high" what he meant was.. "value of the variable was very high".

In an indian restaurant lady says.."we can make jellow dal for you". We started scratching our heads, but then realized, she meant "yellow dal".

G U R U said...

@Mai: Welcome to Mundane Musings!!

Haha, 'wat da park' was hilarious !! I've never heard anyone say that before..and you hear it everyday? Wow, that must be fun :-D

Thanks for stepping in and hope to see you soon !!

G U R U said...

@Rav: Welcome to Mundane Musings !

'Bhalu of the bhedialble' and 'Jellow dal' !! hahaha !! LOL!! that was too good :)

Thanks for visiting !!

Aravind G said...

First time visitor to this blog. Add "putted" to your "crash course" list. In one of my consulting assignments, I remember one of my team members using "putted" very often- "Yes, yes, I putted". Go figure :-) !!

G U R U said...

@aravind g: LOL!! Welcome to Mundane Musings!! Btw, I've 'putted' your word in my vocabulary listing *grin*

Keep clicking!

Ramesh said...

LOL! "If you getting fever, take kerosene!" EPIC! Seriously, you have a very funny blog. enjoyed reading it.

Ramesh
Malaysia