Anthrax



The 'word web' software on my system tray defines anthrax as,

"A species of Bacillus that causes anthrax in humans and in animals
(cattle and swine and sheep and sheep and rabbits and mice and guinea pigs); can be used as a bioweapon"

If you really think anthrax is a bio-chemical weapon and is manufactured only by terrorists, well then you are mistaken. The photo of the person shown above is neither a terrorist who belongs to al-qaeda, nor is he an accomplice of Osama. Yet, he looks like one and also plays a vital role in spreading the anthrax. He is none other than our own desi software engineer, who lives in Bangalore. Typically, this is the attire of the working class in Bangalore. Womenfolk are no exceptions. These people are the major revenue generators of the state, who mostly still ride a two-wheeler though they can afford a four-wheeler. This class of the working society, coupled with the rest, jointly manufacture bio chemical weapons of mass destruction, called anthrax. Actually, There is a second name to it - pollution. I prefer to use the former for two reasons. Firstly, it gains instant attention - no wonder you are still reading my post. Secondly, it is scarrier than the word 'pollution' itself.

Though the stretch is just about six kilometers, it is a herculean task to travel all the way from this god-damn place called Puttenahalli in JP nagar 7th phase (that's where my humble abode is) to another god-damn place called Bannerghatta road where my office is located. Six kilometers in thirty minutes has been my daily equation for the past six months, even after being the proud owner of a superbike called 'fiero' - Blame it on the disastrous traffic. How I wish my company arranges a chartered flight for it's employees. I can live in Chennai, and still work in Bangalore. Technically speaking, the travelling time is just 45 mins !!

People in Bangalore are afraid to expose their skin. They are worried about it's consequences - the amount of smoke, dust and highly toxic gases from the vehicular exhausts are detrimental to the sensory organs, if exposed. I literally cover every hole in my body while driving, to protect myself from anthrax. Even this is of very little help. In the first place, Bangalore is not at all a planned city. If it really had something called a design, then it is not designed to take this load of traffic.

If pollution is the cause for my bleeding nose, bumpy roads
(Oops! I meant muddy pathways) are solely responsible for my swollen ass. yeah, my ass is literally on fire when I take the pathway alongside Puttenahalli lake. This is the only and the longest route to my office, but a short cut to hell. Well, if you want to know what 'heaven' is, be my guest - I will first show you what 'hell' is.

If you think Bangalore is a 'hep' place in India, better rethink.
Bangalore has more potholes than pubs and more dogs than chicks. Recently, One of my friends asked, "So Guru, I am sure Bangalore is rocking ? ". I replied back saying "Yeah, quite possible. There are more rocks than roads". Hope the new Chief Minister does something about the infrastructure quite soon. Yesterday, I read an article in "Times of India" which said that the new CM would be taking several rounds in the night throughout the city once in a month to inspect the public works. Hopefully, 'taking several rounds in the night' does not indicate drinking alcohol.

By the way, are you still wondering who that terrorist ..er..sorry,
the Software engineer in that photograph is ?

"yeah, It's me" - vivek style ;-) [from the popular tamil film Dhool]

Comments

twip said…
waiting....waiting...!
Megha
twip said…
The suspense is killing me:P
Megha
Anonymous said…
Your Blog is awesome...It reminds me of the English poem (The Brook) which I read when I was a kid "For men may come and men may go,But I go on for ever"...I feel we people in Bangalore can rewrite it as "For men may come and men may go,But bad roads go on for ever"
twip said…
Ha ha.....pretty brilliant....I am falling off my chair laughing at the "more rocks than rocking" part.....compared to my extremely serious post in my blog....this is so funny and it helpped me lighten up!!!
Cheers
Megha
Anonymous said…
Too hyper-realistic, too anothropomorhic, too bacchanalian and too prejudiced.
Anonymous said…
hmmmmmm......artistic huh..
Vinesh said…
Good picture you have painted about the "Garden City".. lol
Anonymous said…
Mugambo Kush hua.... I left Bangalore 6 months back and I have no regrets for that.... Bangalore will sink in dust soon.... Climate wont help Bangalore's infrastructure and encroachments.... So folks even if you own a house in Bangalore, your family's and your health and happiness is the toll for your attachment to Bangalore or your Real Estate investment mania... rethink it... Jayanagar, Indira nagar, Malleswaram will soon become Airport Road and Airport Road will beocome Market place... Market place will become a dumping yard...
Anonymous said…
(Vivek Style) Ada Paavi GP!! Eppadi irundha ni ippadi
aaite!!
RvK said…
Guess this is where chennai scores!! no traffic when compared to Blr. But it is any ones guess what having "round @ the nite" means here ;-)
Anonymous said…
You know what...I always thought that I was one of those "uncool" people who has not set foot on B'lore till date...I have always had friends raving abt it...thanks for the reality-check !! :-)

And oh btw....nice writing!!

-Aarthi

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