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Showing posts from 2006

Award winning expression !

This actor has been honoured with an Oscar award for his phenomenal expressions and body language. He also takes the credit of being the first Indian actor to have won an Oscar. Please take a moment off your your busy schedule to salute this hero ! Did I tell you that was a joke ?

'Never have I' - Answer to my last question

Have you ever heard someone telling you these before ? "Convey my regards to abc" " Convey my respects to xyz" " My enquiries to abc" " Please give my best wishes to xyz without fail " How many times have you really conveyed these messages across to abc s and xyz s ? Let me rephrase it - have you ever conveyed ?

Another Letter

My dear blood mother, How could you do this to me ? They say, "Charity begins at home". How cruelly true. Your neighbour's foster child, Handkerchief P.S. Ammani's Quick Tale 146

A letter to G U R U

Hi G U R U, When you come the next time, don't forget to treat me with a mug of water and a piece of cloth. Strikingly yours, Bathroom mirror P.S. It's been six months since I saw you clearly.

It was the Director who killed 'Maya'

I believe Gautham Menon had shot an alternative climax for Kaaka Kaaka. Realising that it was too cinematic, he eventually decided to retain the one we all see today -undoubtedly, the one that's more realistic. I think that was a phenomenal decision ! I remember my English professor often quoting the phrase, "If Cleopatra's nose were one inch longer or shorter, the history of this entire world would have changed !". Going by his rationale, what if 'Maya' were not killed in the end as shown in this video ? Who knows, the movie may not have become such a huge hit. What say ? The Director speaks...hear it from the horse's mouth....

My life

T he day before yesterday, I had no clue of what I wanted to be. Yesterday, I wanted to be someone. Today, I am not what I wanted to be yesterday. Tomorrow, I wish I atleast be what I think today. But the day after tomorrow, I know for sure, I will look back at the 'yesterdays' and the 'day befores'. And smile. And probably nod. Maybe even laugh ! And just be content that am alive for another day. Yes, I can see that. Very clearly. Disclaimer : Readers are requested not to misinterpret "My life" as the author's life. The "I" in the post could also be read as "you".

The toughest

If you claim he is the world's best in whatever he is doing, ask him to read this and drive down to meet me at the address mentioned below - Flat#3, #36, 'Shri venkat', 9th Cross, Puttenahalli main road , JP Nagar 7th Phase , Bangalore - 560078 If he succeeds, I'll second you. Else, take back your words.

Habits die hard

D o you remember the days when you used to pay regular visits to 'Cheytaah's tea stall' near the Santhome Church ? Am sure you do. How could you forget the shop where you started smoking. It used to be your most preferred hang out. Do you also remember the times when 'Cheytaah' used to go out for hours, leaving the shop under your custody ? And you would take care of his business until he returned ? Am sure you do. How 'Cheytaah' used to reward you with commissions for your commitment and dedication in selling tobacco and 'Guthka' during his absence! And how sometimes, he used to treat you with free cigarettes and tea ! Wow ! How wonderful were those days. Do you also remember one such memorable day when you were puffing to glory and there appeared a familiar face from the cloud of smoke that you created just then, staring straight into your eyes and you instantly pissed in your pant ? Am sure you do. By the way, which brand did your dad ask for ?

A formal discussion

" L ook Hareesh, I am your manager. And I pretty well know that you are the only impotent person in this team. Sensing this, I know how people have exploited you. Sometimes you were also humiliated I suppose. Don't worry Hareesh, you are not alone. Am impotent too. I too felt the same way when I was not given due recognitions, though I was impotent . So I perfectly understand how you are feeling at the moment. You should know how to tackle such difficult and embarrassing situations. I cannot keep telling everone in the team that you are impotent . Atleast not now. Neither can you say. Especially when you have ladies around. They will feel bad. They are sensitive, even to small issues. You are already smart, intelligent and rich. Above all, everyone knows that you are my favourite. Keeping all this in mind, if I now tell them that you are impotent , others will feel dejected. As an impotent manager in this organisation, it is my duty to respect my team's feelings. I don...

First meeting

I t had been fourteen years since she visited this place. An air of nostalgia swept past her as she ambled across the streets where she spent her childhood - The man who sold gas baloons near the lamp post opposite to her maths tution, the lady who sold yellow flowers on her way to school, the begger woman who would not accept anything else other than food, overflowing dustbins, uneven speed breakers at awkward places in the road that had punctured her bicycle wheels a hundred times, the neem tree outside her school, the same dull and brownish paint on the school building and a lot many things. Nothing had changed. she was astonished. And happy too. These were the places she loved and grew up. She recognised everyone and everything. Yet nobody knew her. The very scent of these places used to make her feel ecstatic. The sweet memories of her past brought a smile on her face. But that was short-lived. she was on her way to attend a funeral. Of her aunt, whom she had not met in ten years....

Patience

I t was nine-forty in the morning. He was already late to office by ten minutes. Rushing through his cabin, he threw his bag next to the computer, took his seat, wore his glasses, closed his eyes for a silent prayer and then pressed the power button to boot his machine. Instantly, he pulled his chair back and rose from his seat. He was heading towards the pantry. There was already a long queue near the vending machine. It was getting late, but he knew he couldn't help. Nine-forty five . His turn came. Unfortunatly, the vending machine ran out of milk. They had to call someone to do the needful. Another five minutes. Nine-fifty . He finally managed to get a cupful of coffee. With that, he went to the corner near a window and started sipping the liquid ambrosia, looking at the traffic outside. After sometime, Phrrrt-phrrrt, pssst-pssst. Yeah, he was just sucking the air now. The coffee got over five minutes ago. He looked at his watch. Ten 'o clock . It had been twenty minutes s...

What's in a name ?

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It's time for some general knowledge. 'Asin', a budding South Indian actress, is the latest heart-throb of both unmarried and married men today. One such unmarried man and fan of the damsel gave me some 'gyaan' about what her name actually meant. The following are some of the valuable points-to-ponder discovered in the due course. Please feel free to get enlightened! The Myth 'Asin' is a Muslim. The Fact 'Asin' is a Mallu-Christian. The interpreted meaning 'Asin', I believe, is a person who is sinless - As in, sin, Asin, miss, amiss, moral, amoral, that way. Antonyms. You get the point? Frankly speaking, even am trying hard. The Dictionary meaning 'Asin' means, the seventh month of the Hindu calender. (Please, for heaven's sake ! Stop brooding over her name !) The Co-incidence Jyothika's name referred to the sixth month of the English calender in her recent flick ...

Nature's call

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Yesterday, I had been to Santhome beach to capture some splendid moments of nature. That's where I shot this beautiful pic. Looks like 'Nature' got embarrassed with my amateur photography. As I was walking back to the parking lot, 'Nature' called me. Tried ignoring it. No-go. It called me again and again. I had to listen to it this time. Started looking around for a public toilet. After a long hunt, found a dilapidated structure near the light house. Heaved a loud sigh of relief and started running towards that heaven. "Plis, plis staap saar", came a voice from a corner. Had no time to waste. Especially, was not in a mood to listen to some jerk shouting in English. Irritatingly, I shouted back saying, "Enna ya venum ? " (Meaning, "what the hell do you want man ?") That guy continued to speak in English and asked something that stumped my brain and heated up my haemoglobins - Must have been around 104 degrees Fahrenheit. "Saar, you ...

Crazy thieves in Palavakkam

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Wanted to keep you guys in 'good humour' ! So, here's something that will literally keep you guys rolling with laughter. 'Crazy thieves in Palavakkam' - A rib-tickling comedy, penned by Crazy Mohan and performed by SV Sekar, under the banner of 'Natakapriya'. This was Crazy Mohan's first full length comedy, executed on stage in 1976. This play was an instant hit wherever it was staged and it also won several accolades. Not to forget the fact, the popularity of the play, re-christened Mr.Mohan as Mr.'Crazy' Mohan ! Presenting a 'laugh riot' from Mr.Crazy Mohan, which can be cherished for a lifetime. Click on the player below to begin the rib-tickling ! Am sure you will laugh your heart out ! Happy laughing ! ....And, don't forget to thank me :-D Get this widget | Track details | eSnips Social DNA

SEX and CHESS

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I have always felt that SEX and CHESS have a lot in common - 1. Both are games,involving the mind. 2. Both are mind-boggling. 3. Both games improve your concentration. 4. Both can be played on a table, mat, bed, kitchen, garden, car, garage, or even a toilet if you don't mind your board/bod getting wet. 5. Both have 64 positions. 6. Both games need ATLEAST two people to play with. 7. Both games allow 'check and mate'. 8. Both games can be clocked. 9. The King has limited powers. 10. The Queen has phenomenal powers. 11. If the king loses his queen, he will be just left with some animals and men. 12. When the game ends, the winner gets the ultimate pleasure. 13. The loser will have to try again. Can you think of some more ?

Humour in political uniform

Last week, I was flipping through the pages of Reader's Digest. 'Humour in uniform' had always been one of my all time favourites. But unusually, this time when I glanced at the title 'Humour in uniform', something really weird and hilarious struck my mind, and hence this title for my blog. Just click on the title above and am sure you would be in splits too ;-)

Eureka !

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Some thought-provoking bills that I captured recently, using my W550i. Don't ask me where I was and what was I doing there. I already told you - was just shooting some funny bills. Wondering if people could get more crazier. Looking at the above images, I wouldn't be surprised if I come across bills such as these - "Please do not spit pan on your colleague's shirt" "Hot coffee available in aqua guard" "Please do not re-use the toilet papers lying in the dustbins" "please do not pee outside the commode"

Anthrax

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The 'word web' software on my system tray defines anthrax as, "A species of Bacillus that causes anthrax in humans and in animals (cattle and swine and sheep and sheep and rabbits and mice and guinea pigs); can be used as a bioweapon" If you really think anthrax is a bio-chemical weapon and is manufactured only by terrorists, well then you are mistaken. The photo of the person shown above is neither a terrorist who belongs to al-qaeda, nor is he an accomplice of Osama. Yet, he looks like one and also plays a vital role in spreading the anthrax. He is none other than our own desi software engineer, who lives in Bangalore. Typically, this is the attire of the working class in Bangalore. Womenfolk are no exceptions. These people are the major revenue generators of the state, who mostly still ride a two-wheeler though they can afford a four-wheeler. This class of the working society, coupled with the rest, jointly manufacture bio chemical weapons of mass destruction, call...

Cakes are sweet, birthdays are sweeter..

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Did not really find a topic to blog..was scanning through my lotus notes to delete some old emails..just got hold of this one...one more in the birthday series, that I wrote a year ago.. Hi Guys, It's party time again ! Some folks in the XX XX(project name, not disclosed intentionally) have just got older by another year now :) So, doesn't that call for some celebration ? Afterall it's time for the relatively young people to rejoice !! Please follow the simple Five-step process described below, to get PaRtYiNg !!! 1. Logoff from the Mainframe / Press F5 on the lotus notes 2. Turn the sametime status to "Do not disturb, Extremely busy" 3. Repeat step 2 for Yahoo / MSN messenger 4. press Ctrl + Alt + Delete on the keyboard 5. Manually Ping 3.FLOOR.C.WING You will then enter into an automatic wizard, which will sway you through the fun 'n' frolic !! " IT'S NOW ! IT'S ON !! " - So, GeT rEaDy To GeT tHeRe !!!! Event : Birthday celebrations...

KDLC - Kitchenware Development Life Cycle

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Conversation between a husband and wife, both software engineers, working together in their kitchen at home...My figment of imagination ! Wife: Please cut the vegetables while I make other preparations. That way we will work for 45 man-woman minutes, per task. Husband: sure honey ! After 10 minutes, the husband was caught red-handed watching 'fear factor' on AXN. Little did he realise that the episode at home would be more gripping than the actual serial he was watching. Had he read or atleast learnt from marrried men about the 'w-syndrome', he might have avoided the purchase of a new set-top box, for which he spent 5K! 'Fear factor' would be aired live and free (24/7), even to the neighbours ! Wife: What the hell are you doing honey ? Husband: Err..hehe..nothing..am on a 15 minute vacation now. Wife: I still have 30 minutes left to complete my task..have you cut the vegetables yet? Husband: Oh yeah..that's why am on a short vacation..once am back, I...